with or without you
by Geemaa
Summary: This is a normal night for John the pain and the loneliness, he cant go on like a broken solider but maybe he can save him. song fic with or without you scala and kolacny brothers.


**with or without you scala and kolacny brothers- listen to whilst you read :)**

**my first Sherlock fanfic i heard the song and john popped into my head i had to write this.**

**(i do not own Sherlock or John) **

John was sat in his chair, elbows on his knees, hands on face he really couldn't cope without him. As he looks out the window night had fallen and the stars are shinning bright john walked to the window remembering the first time him and Sherlock met." You're a doctor. In fact, you're an army doctor" Sherlock said looking at john "yes" john replied wondering how he knew. "any good" "very" "Seen a lot of injuries, then?... violent deaths?" "Yes" "Bit of trouble, too, I bet" Sherlock asked with a slight smile "Of course, yes. Enough for a lifetime... far too much" john looked straight into Sherlock cold eyes "Want to see some more? " Sherlock replied "Oh, God yes" john said with a huge smile.

See the stone set in your eyes  
>See the thorn twist in your side.<br>I wait for you.

John chuckled to himself he felt like he had known Sherlock all of his life, although it had only been two years.

Sleight of hand and twist of fate  
>On a bed of nails he makes me wait<br>And I wait… without you

John went to the kitchen and pored another glass of brandy, he never wanted to turn to drink but that's the only thing that takes the pain away a little bit.

With or without you  
>With or without you.<p>

John went over to the wall were there was several bullet marks after Sherlock got bored. He slower touched the dent bringing back all the arguments he had with Sherlock he closed his eyes tight as he remembered.

Through the storm, we reach the shore  
>You gave it all but I want more<br>And I'm waiting for you…

"There are lives at stake, Sherlock! Actual human lives. Just so I know, do you care about that at all?" john shock that thought out of his head not wanting to remember the bad times. "Now why would you listen to me. I'm just your friend." "I don't have friends!" "Nah. Wonder why" john opened his eye not wanted to relive this. His heart was breaking

With or without you  
>With or without you.<br>I can't live with or without you.

The anger took the better of him he chucked his glass across the room smashing into a million pieces, swiping his hand across the table hitting anything and everything he could. His hand were bleeding but he did not care no pain is as bad as the pain in his heart. Leaning back onto the cold wall he started sliding down as his legs started to give way, the warm tears were falling as an alone tear court a cut on john cheek bone he whined in pain. The tears kept falling.

And you give yourself away  
>And you give yourself away<br>And you give, and you give  
>And you give yourself away.<p>

He never wanted to sleep. Never wanted to close his eyes as the nightmares always came his face screaming for help his Sherlock. He shut his eyes the day came again "Goodbye, John" john opened his eyes screaming "no don't"

. My hands are tied, my body bruised he got me with nothing to win  
>And nothing left to lose.<p>

And you give yourself away  
>And you give yourself away<br>And you give, and you give  
>And you give yourself away.<p>

"The name's Sherlock Holmes and the address is 221b Baker Street. Afternoon" john laughed a bitter laugh how could one man course him so much pain "I'm a solider for god sake"

With or without you  
>With or without you<br>I can't live  
>With or without you.<p>

John was still sat against the wall blood everywhere he looked as pale as a sheet he hadn't slept or eating very well he started to feel a bit like Sherlock. His once bright colourful eyes were now dark, cold dead, his sandy coloured now had dried blood patches were his hand had been. He was a broken man.

With or without you  
>With or without you<br>I can't live  
>With or without you<br>With or without you.

John lifted his head when he heard the door open "Mrs Hudson" he said in hush tones she had obviously heard him from down stairs. The only light in the flat was coming from the moon shining through the window a shadow casted over john

A voice came from the shadow "john i can't live without you"

**what do you think, please review gem' **


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